Once bitten twice shy

I have been bitten like so many times why do i always insist that its ok.
Damm it.
I am going to move forward.
Right now.
No more backwards.
Even i know the wound will take a bloody long time to heal.

I have wasted too much time.
On everything. On you.
So bye bye to you.
Sometimes you make me feel so helpless and useless.
You don't even bother to give me some of your time.
You don't reflect on your attitude when you say those hurtful things.
I have cried enough.
I feel so tired.
Just remember what you say and don regret because this time, i am moving on to a better place.
Takecare
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Enough of emoing.

I have alot of things which i have yet to accomplish.
The only thing this year which i never regret to do is to cut my hair.
I feel very relax with this hair.
Don't need to comb also never mind.
I have to tell myself now and then to work harder.
But sometimes i ask myself, why do i have to work so hard when there is nothing for me to look forward to.
I don't know why.
Once i read from a book that says, human without dreams are just like dead walking zombie.
Which i totally agree.
When there is no goal and aim in life, people don't go forward.

The only thing i want to do right now is to look at my grandma just one more time.
There is nothing else that i look forward to.
This wish is actually so simple but hard to come true.
I am working very hard to make it come true.
And i know it will finally come true, one day.
Whether now or later, it doesn't matter.
Because 10 years down the road, i will still love her like how i love her today.

Actually i forgotten that i have another wish.
To visit Myanmar.
I will try my best to save up and go to Myanmar next year.
There is so many places in Myanmar that i want to visit.
But right now, study, sing and work first.
Other things aside.
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Yesterday (28/03/09)
went out with my aunt to buy somethings to burn for my grandma.
Bought her some stuff like shirt, macdonalds (She loves apple/pineapple pies and french fries!!), phone (for her to call me :)
I feel so sad when i have to buy my grandma things which are made of paper.
I rather she was alive and i can treat her to eat the real thing.
Went city hall, got my pink contacts.
Meet up with jimmy.
happy already or not, finally i meet you lay.
one time enough already.
ate mya nanda (Super delicious).
Mya Nanda food are really delicious. To think of it, i prefer Mya nanda to Inle. LOL
Because Inle waiting time are so long, sometimes when i finish my food, swee lay'a food is not here yet.
I love Mya nanda.
But inle food are nice too.
Thanks for the **** but its more for children!
Anyway, enjoyed myself. thank you.
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Today(29/03/09)
went to the temple early in the morning.
Pray my grandfather.
After that my grandma.

Whenever i look at her, i feel so happy.
I feel as though she is around.
I hope she is.
I wish i can disturb her and make her scold me like how she use to do last time.
One day, i will meet her.
I am waiting a long time for the day to come.
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Tried to upload pictures but can't.
So next time.
And then sentosa tomorrow
:)
Tat tar.